Saturday, June 28, 2003

 
Its well after midnight, I am piss drunk, and I have just watched Fight Club for the fifth time in my life. For some reason, this has inspired me to write a blog. Don't get excited. This blog is guaranteed to suck more than a whore on commission.
Onward.
And while I'm at it, fuck segues.
I am not drinking because I am happy. I am not drinking because I am surrounded by treasured friends. Right now, as I swill this blue label smirnoff, only two things cross my mind. One: the precious things in life that make everything bearable can kiss my glistening penis. Two: No amount that of positive attitude, fake it till you make it, motivational speaker bullshit is going to change the fact that I spend every second of every day feeling more alone than I did in the one that just passed.
To make this short, the reason I am drinking is that I want to die.
And if I'm going, I'm taking all the puppies and kittens with me.

Maybe its the liquor. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and worry less about being alone and more about my hangover. May be. Thats not gonna stop my constant whoring over to my friends houses so I can feel something similar to real human companionship. I never feel so alone as when I'm home with the people who care about me most.

Well shit, this was supposed to be longer but I can't think anymore. On a parting note, I share this bit of drunken wisdom.
Compassion is transmitted by touch. All your pretty fucking words and concillatory sentences aren't worth shit. When it comes down to it, one person can express more to another with a hand on the shoulder or a clasp on the arm than with an hour of sympathetic words.
Anyway, I'm done. Fuck you for having nothing better to do but read my whining.

20 Days until Vanessa returns.
...or so she told me...
posted by David 12:03 AM