Saturday, October 23, 2004

 
Sometimes it amazes me the way time moves.
Today is a Saturday near the end of October in the year 2004, over a year since my last submission. A great deal of things has happened in the last year. Old friends have changed, faded, or departed like fashions. Interests have continued to rotate and roll like a great wheel over the landscape of possibility; picking up bits and pieces of that over which it treads as it continues its endless rotation. I have been good to those who mean me harm, and harmed those who care for me most. Life, lackluster, has been lived.
That, however, is not why you who still do so check in on this blog.
I make no apologies for my year of absence, but, for reasons I simply don't care enough about you, the reader, to divulge, it has been made clear to me that more of this is neccessary.
In this, consider me my own herald. More is to come. This I promise.
-David

posted by David 10:07 AM

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

 
I just read this quote on Stephanie Chen's blog. I find it funny, bordering on hilarious:

"You know what's even more annoying than little bugs?
LOUD PEOPLE."

I don't know, maybe I'm the only person that finds that funny.
So I just got back from being stuck manning the Theatre Guild booth at the West Mall today. It was great. Apparently, so long as anyone who knows anything about the guild is there, no one will approach the booth, let alone ask strange questions about the guild, but as soon as its just me, lock and load. I had a conversation with a large neanderthal in glasses that went as follows:
"Hey, interested in Theatre Guild?"
"Hmph. Is this club associated with the UT theatre department?"
"No, but everyone's welcome."
"Will you all be auditioning for parts soon?"
"Yes, in fact here, have a flyer. All information is on it."
"I see. How many people are expected to try out for the plays?"
"30 or 40, roughly"
"And how many parts are there?"
"Not sure, middle teens, I think."
"And how many of the parts usually go to theatre majors."
"Depends on how auditions go. Not many, I'd imagine, since they're usually in the minority."
"Hmph."
David's thoughts: Excuse the fuck out of me you needy shit.
"Exactly how old is the theatre guild?"
David's thoughts: Old enough to have raped your mother while it was still pedophelia.
"I'm not sure, I know its old for a student run theatre organization. Very well established."
"I see"
"Basically, we take our productions seriously, but we're really out to have a good time. But hey, isn't everybody?"
"Hmph. Perhaps I'll go tomorrow and find out if its interesting or not."
David's thoughts: "Thats right, pick your unibrow up and drag your knuckles elsewhere you neolithic holier-than-thou futzpucker. And while you're out, shave your back. Don't throw that hair away though, its long enough to donate to young cancer patients."

My hateful rambling went on from there.
Anyway, I have a lot more to say, but I'll leave it at this. I now offer a real-time ranting service. Simply IM me at DerthDA using AOLIM and I'll be more than happy to spew forth hate, filth, depresion, and delirium.
posted by David 2:07 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

 
It's ten thrity-three. Scratch that. Ten thirty four. The air in this city I have loved strikes my palate like butane and cigarette butts this evening, rendering my attempts to walk with tortoise like hope away from my problems impotent. In my all-consuming drive to blame my frustrations and woes on some inescapable social entity, I have chosen, with hat-like precision, money.
But none of that has rats ass relevence to anything realistic, now does it?

So, now I adress that which has drawn me from the blissful drunken vacuousness of my everyday life and thrust me like mid 70's porn back into the eyes of the impressionable: the whiney bitching of viewers like you. Thats right kids, mean uncle David is writing this not because he wants to, not because he is compelled to, but because he's just too fucking tired of all the bitching not to. Daddy drinks because you cry.

So, you wanted a blog update, you fucking got it.

I spent the goddamned summer working for RSI (the goddamned trash company). The likeable people there were worthlessly dim and the intelligent ones were slimy enough to ice skate on sand paper. I bounced back and forth between bosses who wanted to bear my childer and erect monuments in my honor to co-workers so lame and helpless that they maddened me with their sheer ineffectuality. More than once I lost control of the twisted dark mass my mind has become and said things to them that startled, provoked, frightened, and confused them. Before me the were like quivering deer. Thats not the point though. The point is that the prospect of continued paychecks prevented me on several occasions from leaping over desks to strangle middle aged whores.

I suppose everyone (especially Chris Ha) knows that I am no longer dating Vanessa. All I have to say is, Chris, sorry you got dragged in. If there was anything more to say, I'd say it.
So, next.
I was dropped from my beautiful schedule because of a strategic miscalculation. See I assumed UT would be able to leave its own genitals alone long enough to do something logically. I think I must have been drunk when I reached that conclusion. At any rate, I came home on the tuition due date with the final check in the bank, ready to give all my hard earned money to a school that looks at me like a number, and, lo and behold, someone (heretofore known as "cocksucker") decided to put the cut off time at 5:00PM. I hadn't eve left my goddamned office at that point. So, bye bye beautiful schedule, hello late registration shit push. So, tomorrow I go to the first round of the classes I signed up for. I just have to remember to look up what they are before I go.
I'm tired, so fuck you very much, and goodnight.
posted by David 9:21 PM

Saturday, June 28, 2003

 
Its well after midnight, I am piss drunk, and I have just watched Fight Club for the fifth time in my life. For some reason, this has inspired me to write a blog. Don't get excited. This blog is guaranteed to suck more than a whore on commission.
Onward.
And while I'm at it, fuck segues.
I am not drinking because I am happy. I am not drinking because I am surrounded by treasured friends. Right now, as I swill this blue label smirnoff, only two things cross my mind. One: the precious things in life that make everything bearable can kiss my glistening penis. Two: No amount that of positive attitude, fake it till you make it, motivational speaker bullshit is going to change the fact that I spend every second of every day feeling more alone than I did in the one that just passed.
To make this short, the reason I am drinking is that I want to die.
And if I'm going, I'm taking all the puppies and kittens with me.

Maybe its the liquor. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and worry less about being alone and more about my hangover. May be. Thats not gonna stop my constant whoring over to my friends houses so I can feel something similar to real human companionship. I never feel so alone as when I'm home with the people who care about me most.

Well shit, this was supposed to be longer but I can't think anymore. On a parting note, I share this bit of drunken wisdom.
Compassion is transmitted by touch. All your pretty fucking words and concillatory sentences aren't worth shit. When it comes down to it, one person can express more to another with a hand on the shoulder or a clasp on the arm than with an hour of sympathetic words.
Anyway, I'm done. Fuck you for having nothing better to do but read my whining.

20 Days until Vanessa returns.
...or so she told me...
posted by David 12:03 AM

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

 
Just finished another all nighter. Man I hate Nutrition. Alcohol comes today, which makes me smile. Know what else makes me smile? Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy:
#76: If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
You said it Jack.
Yesterday I beat Dragon Quarter, the latest in the Breath of Fire series. Review forthcoming. For now, venting.
While studying for this latest Nutrition Test, I've developed a hatred for the material. Obviously I understand the real world applications of such information, but the fact is I don't give a god damn about my sodium intake, never in my life will I give a passing thought to whether or not my meal has adequate Magnesium, and 99% of the information on pregnancy makes shitty, disgusting dinner trivia. Thats important, because, lets face it, anything havinng to do with pregnancy is, to me, trivia. Whats the point of knowing trivial things if you can't say them over dinner and look smart? Nutrition falls into the category of material that I deem "Bathroom reading". The idea that my grades in college are somehow determined by a course the breadth of whose impact on my life amounts to eating salad more often seems ludicrous to me. Its not important information to me. It should not be treated as such. Perhaps if I were a Nutrition major, it would be ok for them to seriously consider my knowlege retention when assigning my grade. However, I am not and will never be a nutrition major. My apathy for the subject far exceeds my professor's enthusiasm. As such, I think, as long as I pass my assignments, I should be allowed to come in on finals day, play baseball with gerbils and GET A FUCKING A. The idea that this inane shit will affect me, even positively, is disgusting.
Whew, I think I'm done now. Later.
posted by David 5:46 AM

Thursday, April 24, 2003

 
I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole

[Chorus]
I cannot save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself (save yourself)

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you (I am just as fucked as you)

Chorus

Please don't take pity on me (4x)

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely
I think I'd rather be alone (I think I'd rather be alone)

You cannot save me
You can't even save yourself
I cannot save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself



Let me enlighten you
This is the way of prayer
Heaven just isn't hot enough
Burn me alive inside.



It never ceases to amaze me how the words to songs can match our emotions better than the words in our heads.
posted by David 12:17 PM

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

 
Damn me for a fool.
I know the truth yet still I want the lie.
posted by David 11:23 PM